Tag Archives: Manage behaviors

“Setting limits is the most important and most difficult step in handling High Conflict People.” Continue reading

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“Every time you react to the attacks, you are fueling the High-Conflict Person’s fire to continue with even more attacks.” Continue reading

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If you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving skills you use in daily life, you risk losing your case, your kids and your property because family court is a highly adversarial process that rewards combative thinking and behavior. Continue reading

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The High-Conflict Person’s deeply-felt belief that they’re right and you’re wrong results in an intensity that scares us, so we end up avoiding them altogether or bending the boundaries to avoid being yelled at or even feeling uncomfortable. Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, Guest Blogs, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

I like BIFF- great concept. What if you’re talking with someone who has already pre-decided that whatever response you give, it will be received as an attack? For example, brevity = passive-aggression and detailed/normal = active-aggression.  How do you crack … Continue reading

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A BIFF Response is a great thing use but it’s not a cure for narcissism or teenage angst. Putting this into practice effectively requires not only learning the four steps, but having a good working knowledge of the reasons why it works. Continue reading

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When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse. Continue reading

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“This ‘commenting’ seems to occur almost unnoticed by each person saying it, as if it was part of the language of the day.” Continue reading

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I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. Continue reading

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“When one of you decides to file for divorce there is often an expectation that somehow this will change. The other person will now see your point and finally change their perspective, after all you must have gotten their full and undivided attention now! Right? Hmmm…not so fast.” Continue reading

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Excerpted from the book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy, Esq., CFLS,  LCSW. _____________________ In this chapter, I explain a theory of child alienation that I have developed called “1000 Little Bricks.” It’s based … Continue reading

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It’s the person you might call a control freak.  It could be your sister, supervisor, father or someone else close to you. They make you feel like you can’t move without being watched and judged.  The following is Bill Eddy’s take, in a … Continue reading

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DOES THIS PERSON MAKE YOU NUTS? Theatrical, dramatic Superficial Exaggerates, lies Constant crises, needs help Intense, shifting emotions People with a Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) can be extremely irritating and unpredictable.  The American Psychiatric Association has estimated that 2-3% of … Continue reading

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 DO YOU FEEL TRAPPED BY THIS PERSON? -Intense anger -Sudden mood swings -Emotionally manipulative -Seeks revenge/vindication -Impulsive, self-destructive -Clingy, needy The NIH estimated 5.9% of the population has a Borderline Personality Disorder.* Living next door to a person with BPD … Continue reading

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 You can learn to coexist with a Narcissist by following these and other tips. I’ll write about other difficult personalities in coming blogs, so stay tuned for the series on Living with High-Conflict People. ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH THIS PERSON? … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , , | 6 Comments