Tag Archives: High Conflict People

“Maybe we don’t need relationships anymore. Maybe we can say and do anything we want with other people – in other words incivility has no cost and is easier than putting a surge protector on ourselves.” Continue reading

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“Setting limits is the most important and most difficult step in handling High Conflict People.” Continue reading

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“Paint a picture of that person treading water alone in the ocean. When we extend logic, explanation, insults and avoidance to them, they just sink deeper. Arms flailing, they’re barely able to keep their head above water.” Continue reading

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“Every time you react to the attacks, you are fueling the High-Conflict Person’s fire to continue with even more attacks.” Continue reading

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If we aren’t likely to resolve the conflict by legal reasoning and persuasion, and if threats don’t work, what can be done? Continue reading

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We all have dealings with high-conflict people, in our families, at work and in our communities. They often catch us by surprise with their extreme thinking, emotions and behavior, which can include: an inability to compromise, lying, spreading rumors, stealing, … Continue reading

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Your divorce isn’t like your friends divorce, yours is different. Your divorce is high conflict. You need strong and secure boundaries, clear and concise communication and you need to document your Ex’s manipulative behaviors. Continue reading

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“A person without personality awareness skills might think that so-and-so is a real jerk and to be avoided. But someone with personality awareness skills knows to consider that the new friend might actually be the person to avoid and that so-and-so is actually a nice guy. More information is needed and those with these skills know generally where to look.” Continue reading

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I like BIFF- great concept. What if you’re talking with someone who has already pre-decided that whatever response you give, it will be received as an attack? For example, brevity = passive-aggression and detailed/normal = active-aggression.  How do you crack … Continue reading

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When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse. Continue reading

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If you think you are going to be dealing with an HCP, avoid getting hooked and feeding the conflict by reminding yourself of these two steps before you start talking. Continue reading

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I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. Continue reading

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“The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive.” Continue reading

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Bill Eddy (a certified Family Law Specialist in California) has written a marvelous and succinct book on how to deal with (what he calls), High Conflict Personalities. He defines a high conflict personality as one who lacks the skills for being … Continue reading

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  Is everything a battle with your ex-partner, spouse, or your child’s other parent? Are there ways you can better manage a high conflict divorce or custody conflict? Mediator and attorney Stephen McDonough shows us how: ______________________________ As a Massachusetts … Continue reading

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Excerpted from the book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy, Esq., CFLS,  LCSW. _____________________ In this chapter, I explain a theory of child alienation that I have developed called “1000 Little Bricks.” It’s based … Continue reading

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A surprising occurrence for many individuals in the workplace is the notion of Groundhog Day when dealing with someone who may be a High Conflict Personality (HCP) and is under stress. Most adults recognize that good working relationships are vital … Continue reading

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In the wake of yet another school shooting, I, like many others, am wondering why.  What drives a young person (or anyone else) to shoot their friends and relatives, apparently for no reason anyone can discern. I say that understanding … Continue reading

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It’s the person you might call a control freak.  It could be your sister, supervisor, father or someone else close to you. They make you feel like you can’t move without being watched and judged.  The following is Bill Eddy’s take, in a … Continue reading

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The Problem: “Why can’t he stop sending me obnoxious texts?” “She lies, and then she posts it for everyone to see!” “My boss is harassing me by email” You know who I mean – it’s that certain relative, friend, coworker, … Continue reading

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