Tag Archives: Defensive statements

“Maybe we don’t need relationships anymore. Maybe we can say and do anything we want with other people – in other words incivility has no cost and is easier than putting a surge protector on ourselves.” Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Social Media, Workplace | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Pause. Take a deep breath. Then read the email/ text with a critical eye: Is there anything that REALLY requires a reply? Continue reading

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Posted in Education, Family / Relationships, High Conflict People, Workplace | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

We all have dealings with high-conflict people, in our families, at work and in our communities. They often catch us by surprise with their extreme thinking, emotions and behavior, which can include: an inability to compromise, lying, spreading rumors, stealing, … Continue reading

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I like BIFF- great concept. What if you’re talking with someone who has already pre-decided that whatever response you give, it will be received as an attack? For example, brevity = passive-aggression and detailed/normal = active-aggression.  How do you crack … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Reader's Q&A | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse. Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

If you think you are going to be dealing with an HCP, avoid getting hooked and feeding the conflict by reminding yourself of these two steps before you start talking. Continue reading

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Posted in Education, Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

“This ‘commenting’ seems to occur almost unnoticed by each person saying it, as if it was part of the language of the day.” Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, Social Media | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

“When one of you decides to file for divorce there is often an expectation that somehow this will change. The other person will now see your point and finally change their perspective, after all you must have gotten their full and undivided attention now! Right? Hmmm…not so fast.” Continue reading

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Posted in blog, Family / Relationships, General, Guest Blogs, High Conflict People | Tagged , | Leave a comment

How do I defend myself?  Say your coworker fires off another nasty email accusing you of dressing sloppily. She goes on and on about how you watch online videos and spend most of your time on Facebook or doing other personal things on company … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Social Media, Workplace | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Just about everyone has a social media presence these days, leaving us vulnerable to intentional and unintentional arguments for the whole world to see.   George Takei, most known as Sulu on the original Star Trek series, encountered this dilemma … Continue reading

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Posted in General, High Conflict People, Social Media | Tagged , | Leave a comment

  –My Ex has totally lost it.  Out of a three-page, single-spaced email maybe one or two sentences have some legitimate point and the rest is awful.   She hates me.  She loathes the fact that I have a girlfriend.  She … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People | Tagged | 4 Comments

Most of us have had to cope with a coworker that drives us nuts. The woman one cube over argues with customers. That dude in sales thinks he’s better than everyone.  Often, these folks find themselves in trouble but, surprisingly, … Continue reading

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Posted in General, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , | Leave a comment