Category Archives: Workplace

“As high-conflict personalities appear to be increasing in society and the workplace, we are hearing more reports of disrespectful behavior during business meetings these days. Sad to say that this even is a topic which needs to be addressed. But since much of today’s work goes on in meetings, we’d like to present some strategies we are developing that anyone can use who is faced with this issue.” Continue reading

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“Maybe we don’t need relationships anymore. Maybe we can say and do anything we want with other people – in other words incivility has no cost and is easier than putting a surge protector on ourselves.” Continue reading

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Pause. Take a deep breath. Then read the email/ text with a critical eye: Is there anything that REALLY requires a reply? Continue reading

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If we aren’t likely to resolve the conflict by legal reasoning and persuasion, and if threats don’t work, what can be done? Continue reading

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Your tendency will be to have and desire as little contact with the HCP as possible. Don’t fall into that trap. Continue reading

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The High-Conflict Person’s deeply-felt belief that they’re right and you’re wrong results in an intensity that scares us, so we end up avoiding them altogether or bending the boundaries to avoid being yelled at or even feeling uncomfortable. Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, Guest Blogs, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

“A person without personality awareness skills might think that so-and-so is a real jerk and to be avoided. But someone with personality awareness skills knows to consider that the new friend might actually be the person to avoid and that so-and-so is actually a nice guy. More information is needed and those with these skills know generally where to look.” Continue reading

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When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse. Continue reading

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If you think you are going to be dealing with an HCP, avoid getting hooked and feeding the conflict by reminding yourself of these two steps before you start talking. Continue reading

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“Unless they feel comfortable in saying ‘I don’t see it, can you tell me why it is obvious to you’? You are in conflict and you don’t know it.” Continue reading

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“You can’t pay attention to the outside world when you’re busy reacting. So how can you manage your emotions in situations like this?” Continue reading

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“The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive.” Continue reading

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High-Conflict People (HCPs) tend to have a pattern of self-defeating and upsetting behavior. Generally, this pattern includes: A preoccupation with blaming others – their “targets of blame” Extreme behaviors – that 90% of people would never do All-or-nothing thinking – … Continue reading

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How do I defend myself?  Say your coworker fires off another nasty email accusing you of dressing sloppily. She goes on and on about how you watch online videos and spend most of your time on Facebook or doing other personal things on company … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Social Media, Workplace | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

It’s so aggravating! No matter what you say or do, that certain employee is blind to their behavior and how they negatively impact coworkers, clients and their own performance. In this post, Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano address that problem … Continue reading

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A surprising occurrence for many individuals in the workplace is the notion of Groundhog Day when dealing with someone who may be a High Conflict Personality (HCP) and is under stress. Most adults recognize that good working relationships are vital … Continue reading

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“So, I wrote my BIFF Response but Marvin wrote me another angry email. Actually, he wrote 6 more this week, so what’s up with that? Why didn’t he stop after my first email?” Beth was fairly annoyed. Marvin is on … Continue reading

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Posted in Education, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | 1 Comment

 Some of the things I hear most often as the BIFF Response(sm) coordinator is “I’ve explained it over and over! Why don’t they change?”  — “Why won’t they stop it?”  — “Can’t they see what they’re doing?”  The following is Bill Eddy’s take … Continue reading

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Posted in Education, Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | Tagged , | 1 Comment

by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.  “How do I deal with my narcissistic boss?” is the most common complaint I get about high-conflict people in the workplace. They are everywhere, and seem to be increasing these days – from the lowest … Continue reading

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The BIFF Response(sm) Method at Work – A new Article by Bill Eddy, LCSW, ESq.  Hostile mail – especially email, texts and other electronic communications – has become much more common in the workplace over the past decade. Most of this mail is … Continue reading

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