Category Archives: Professionals

If we aren’t likely to resolve the conflict by legal reasoning and persuasion, and if threats don’t work, what can be done? Continue reading

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Your tendency will be to have and desire as little contact with the HCP as possible. Don’t fall into that trap. Continue reading

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If you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving skills you use in daily life, you risk losing your case, your kids and your property because family court is a highly adversarial process that rewards combative thinking and behavior. Continue reading

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The High-Conflict Person’s deeply-felt belief that they’re right and you’re wrong results in an intensity that scares us, so we end up avoiding them altogether or bending the boundaries to avoid being yelled at or even feeling uncomfortable. Continue reading

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“A person without personality awareness skills might think that so-and-so is a real jerk and to be avoided. But someone with personality awareness skills knows to consider that the new friend might actually be the person to avoid and that so-and-so is actually a nice guy. More information is needed and those with these skills know generally where to look.” Continue reading

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I like BIFF- great concept. What if you’re talking with someone who has already pre-decided that whatever response you give, it will be received as an attack? For example, brevity = passive-aggression and detailed/normal = active-aggression.  How do you crack … Continue reading

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When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse. Continue reading

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If you think you are going to be dealing with an HCP, avoid getting hooked and feeding the conflict by reminding yourself of these two steps before you start talking. Continue reading

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“Unless they feel comfortable in saying ‘I don’t see it, can you tell me why it is obvious to you’? You are in conflict and you don’t know it.” Continue reading

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I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. Continue reading

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“Let your child experience you not as angry, defensive or even offensive. Let your child experience you as untouched by the nasty comments or innuendo because if it is untrue, there is nothing to defend against and you move on.” Continue reading

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“The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive.” Continue reading

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  Is everything a battle with your ex-partner, spouse, or your child’s other parent? Are there ways you can better manage a high conflict divorce or custody conflict? Mediator and attorney Stephen McDonough shows us how: ______________________________ As a Massachusetts … Continue reading

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High-Conflict People (HCPs) tend to have a pattern of self-defeating and upsetting behavior. Generally, this pattern includes: A preoccupation with blaming others – their “targets of blame” Extreme behaviors – that 90% of people would never do All-or-nothing thinking – … Continue reading

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I was recently sitting at my desk when I received a text message from a phone number I didn’t recognize. In rapid succession I received the following missives: “I don’t respect people who hit children.” “You belong in jail for … Continue reading

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How do I defend myself?  Say your coworker fires off another nasty email accusing you of dressing sloppily. She goes on and on about how you watch online videos and spend most of your time on Facebook or doing other personal things on company … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Social Media, Workplace | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Excerpted from the book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy, Esq., CFLS,  LCSW. _____________________ In this chapter, I explain a theory of child alienation that I have developed called “1000 Little Bricks.” It’s based … Continue reading

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It’s so aggravating! No matter what you say or do, that certain employee is blind to their behavior and how they negatively impact coworkers, clients and their own performance. In this post, Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano address that problem … Continue reading

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A surprising occurrence for many individuals in the workplace is the notion of Groundhog Day when dealing with someone who may be a High Conflict Personality (HCP) and is under stress. Most adults recognize that good working relationships are vital … Continue reading

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“So, I wrote my BIFF Response but Marvin wrote me another angry email. Actually, he wrote 6 more this week, so what’s up with that? Why didn’t he stop after my first email?” Beth was fairly annoyed. Marvin is on … Continue reading

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