Author Archives: tdicomes

I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. Continue reading

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“Let your child experience you not as angry, defensive or even offensive. Let your child experience you as untouched by the nasty comments or innuendo because if it is untrue, there is nothing to defend against and you move on.” Continue reading

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“You can’t pay attention to the outside world when you’re busy reacting. So how can you manage your emotions in situations like this?” Continue reading

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“The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive.” Continue reading

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“When one of you decides to file for divorce there is often an expectation that somehow this will change. The other person will now see your point and finally change their perspective, after all you must have gotten their full and undivided attention now! Right? Hmmm…not so fast.” Continue reading

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Bill Eddy (a certified Family Law Specialist in California) has written a marvelous and succinct book on how to deal with (what he calls), High Conflict Personalities. He defines a high conflict personality as one who lacks the skills for being … Continue reading

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  Is everything a battle with your ex-partner, spouse, or your child’s other parent? Are there ways you can better manage a high conflict divorce or custody conflict? Mediator and attorney Stephen McDonough shows us how: ______________________________ As a Massachusetts … Continue reading

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High-Conflict People (HCPs) tend to have a pattern of self-defeating and upsetting behavior. Generally, this pattern includes: A preoccupation with blaming others – their “targets of blame” Extreme behaviors – that 90% of people would never do All-or-nothing thinking – … Continue reading

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“Here is a question I would like to see addressed. My ex is a sociopath (at best). I will write him over Talking Parents asking a very simple question that should take a 5 second response. For example, yesterday, I asked him, “Did [our son] have a nap today?” He read it at 5 PM yesterday and responded at 11 AM this morning. ” Continue reading

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I was recently sitting at my desk when I received a text message from a phone number I didn’t recognize. In rapid succession I received the following missives: “I don’t respect people who hit children.” “You belong in jail for … Continue reading

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The CARS Method was developed specifically to address four big areas of difficulty in high-conflict situations, which often involve one or more people with high-conflict personalities (HCPs). But this method can be used with anyone – anywhere. The CARS Method … Continue reading

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How do I defend myself?  Say your coworker fires off another nasty email accusing you of dressing sloppily. She goes on and on about how you watch online videos and spend most of your time on Facebook or doing other personal things on company … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Social Media, Workplace | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Excerpted from the book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy, Esq., CFLS,  LCSW. _____________________ In this chapter, I explain a theory of child alienation that I have developed called “1000 Little Bricks.” It’s based … Continue reading

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Just about everyone has a social media presence these days, leaving us vulnerable to intentional and unintentional arguments for the whole world to see.   George Takei, most known as Sulu on the original Star Trek series, encountered this dilemma … Continue reading

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It’s so aggravating! No matter what you say or do, that certain employee is blind to their behavior and how they negatively impact coworkers, clients and their own performance. In this post, Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano address that problem … Continue reading

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  –My Ex has totally lost it.  Out of a three-page, single-spaced email maybe one or two sentences have some legitimate point and the rest is awful.   She hates me.  She loathes the fact that I have a girlfriend.  She … Continue reading

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Posted in Family / Relationships, General, High Conflict People | Tagged | 4 Comments

A surprising occurrence for many individuals in the workplace is the notion of Groundhog Day when dealing with someone who may be a High Conflict Personality (HCP) and is under stress. Most adults recognize that good working relationships are vital … Continue reading

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“So, I wrote my BIFF Response but Marvin wrote me another angry email. Actually, he wrote 6 more this week, so what’s up with that? Why didn’t he stop after my first email?” Beth was fairly annoyed. Marvin is on … Continue reading

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Posted in Education, General, High Conflict People, Professionals, Workplace | 1 Comment

In the wake of yet another school shooting, I, like many others, am wondering why.  What drives a young person (or anyone else) to shoot their friends and relatives, apparently for no reason anyone can discern. I say that understanding … Continue reading

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This blog is dedicated to coping with difficult communications and High-Conflict People. All too often, parents get caught up in a contentious split and the children hear it all. When that happens, some parents are faced with the decision of … Continue reading

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